Today I am feeling optimistic despite this horrible weather and sad atmosphere! I have been moping around the house recently I will admit and it never helps! Right now I am listening to a beautiful song that I heard many years ago which has inspired me and helped me up when I was down “What have you done today to make you feel proud” by Heather Small. It is a great song and expresses exactly how I feel and how I look at life. But this is something everyone should be thinking about. Everyone has potential- that is potential to do good or do bad, the potential to work hard or be lazy. All you have to do is try and okay you may not always get what you want, you may get rejected but some of the best people in life always try. Everyone fails at something and that is how you build yourself up. I am trying to find a job right now and it is tough and I have not been having any luck but it doesn’t matter. I will continue trying till I succeed. I will continue because I know I can do well. I believe in myself.

I have a friend and she knows exactly what she wants to do in life. She wants to be a doctor and I kind of envy her because she knows what she wants and she found her dream career whereas I have no idea what I want to have a career in. However she keeps seeing things blocking her path. I suggest ideas and she keeps putting them down and to be honest she is not being realistic because okay I understand there are difficulties getting into medicine, but it all depends on how bad you want it and what kind of person you are. She is extremely smart and I know she can do well- she can get a First Class Honours Degree, she can draw, make things and is very smart but she is also very pessimistic and foolish in some ways. I am not that intelligent I am smart in other ways but I do try and put all my effort into things. Something inside so strong I know that I can make it. I wanted a First Class Degree but I got a 2:1 and that is still good! I am extremely happy and proud of myself even though I didn’t reach the First I tried and worked my hardest. I wanted a life social life and other experiences and sometimes things take sacrifice. My friend keep saying that it costs a lot of money and she doesn’t know if she can afford living out even if she goes to Scotland where university is free. She doesn’t know if she is entitled to this free education because she comes from the UK. But these things require research and right now she is just shooting them down and making excuses based on things she has no idea about. Education could very well be free for her too and she may never know or realise because she didn’t bother to look just because it might not be. I am tired of the excuses and call me an optimist, a fool or an unrealistic person living in la la land- I don’t care what you call me. I don’t care what you say because at least I have faith and I believe. Question is do you believe in you? I sure hope you do because it is very important. I have faith in people even those who are bad because you can turn your life around.

I want people to know that yes life is hard and sometimes thing don’t always go your way but you can achieve and do your best. All you can do is hope and if it doesn’t work out at least you tried. No regrets right? You tried so what’s to regret! Keep trying till you die. Don’t ever give up on life and I know it can be easy sometimes to just throw in the towel but its not worth it. There is so much out there you can achieve. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel- you just have to be strong and wait. There is sometimes even a helping hand. Trying is the key! 🙂 Everyone has a choice and it is never too late to start making those choices, paths, decisions. Believe in the strength and most importantly in you! I hope you achieve all the things you want!

So if you have failed at something or you got a bad mark or you were rejected in love, relationships/freidnships- then my advice to you is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again! Have faith in you and your abilities and even if you feel like you don’t have any talents think about yourself and what you’re good at. Nothing is impossible because even the word impossible has possible in it!

Love the ever hopeful optimist (I have been told I live in la la land= oh well at least I like the bright side of life)

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

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One step forward, two steps back….only way is onwards and upwards!

There’s nothing like the feeling of anxiety and uneasiness that develops at the pit of your stomach just before you find out a grade mark. As I open my eyes to view the mark, I am sometimes met by surprise and happiness and other times I am met by disappointment and failure. Although I haven’t failed and the mark is not so bad, it somehow feels like I have whenever I receive a lower grade than expected; while others receive higher grades. Perhaps though I should not be focusing on what others get and more on what I get and how I can improve or where I have stumbled. Though it can be hard sometimes not to get competitive when people openly boast about their grade. It is not so much that they don’t have the right, it’s great to share your happiness with your friends and in a way it is not boasting just happiness and excitement. But I don’t think it is necessary to announce it on facebook so the whole of your friends/peers know, rather best kept between you and your friends though that’s my personal opinion on the matter. I don’t like competitiveness, because although I may not admit it publicly, I am very competitive and can get very sad if my grades are not higher than my peers. It becomes an unhealthy obsession to be the best and always maintain the best grades! This is why I think it is just healthier not to share the knowledge of each others marks because it contributes to the pressure of it all- it puts pressure on you and on the people you are competing with and it can get pretty exhausting! I mean what have you got to prove to them? Who are you trying to impress? Yourself? Your friends? or your peers? When I ask myself those simple questions I realise I am only trying to impress myself and my family to reach my goals and to do the best. So I won’t let others bring me down so easily and I won’t let them make me feel like a failure! It’s just like Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Truth is I have high expectations and it would be nice to get a First class degree but since coming to University I’ve learnt that even if you aim for the best and you don’t reach it, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure!

I do work very hard and I try my best but I am fed up now because I feel like there is more to life than just proving myself intellectually. Sometimes I work very hard and the grades I receive are average, but other times the grades are very good with little effort! Third year is very difficult, but Second year was also difficult because of the transition and extra work. No-one ever tells you that the transition is difficult and hard to get used to, but it is a big jump from first year. Sometimes I feel like I am improving and after a good day I feel like I am moving a step forward and a step closer to that wish. But then there are setbacks which seem to push me two steps back and dampen my optimism. Somehow in a way they motivate me to an extent to try harder and improve, but in other ways which are possibly more unhealthy- they dampen my spirits and make me feel like a failure making my attitude too hard on myself. I really have to work on that attitude, but I am trying! 😉 I suppose there are more pressing matters at hand and there’s no point dwelling on the past mistakes, but rather building on them! But I will keep fighting and striving and hope that everything works out for the best! Never give up, keep going no matter how hard something is, because there is always an expiry date and at least you can say that you tried your best.

So I have set myself the task of looking to the future, to the endless opportunities out there, to the good times and sad times that I am inevitably going to face! I guess life will never always be peachy and perfect, but at least I can always aim high and try my best. Onwards and upwards I suppose as I’d rather take the high road!

Most of all I always say to myself: Always aim high so that when you fall short, you will have still achieved a lot! 🙂