Today I am feeling optimistic despite this horrible weather and sad atmosphere! I have been moping around the house recently I will admit and it never helps! Right now I am listening to a beautiful song that I heard many years ago which has inspired me and helped me up when I was down “What have you done today to make you feel proud” by Heather Small. It is a great song and expresses exactly how I feel and how I look at life. But this is something everyone should be thinking about. Everyone has potential- that is potential to do good or do bad, the potential to work hard or be lazy. All you have to do is try and okay you may not always get what you want, you may get rejected but some of the best people in life always try. Everyone fails at something and that is how you build yourself up. I am trying to find a job right now and it is tough and I have not been having any luck but it doesn’t matter. I will continue trying till I succeed. I will continue because I know I can do well. I believe in myself.

I have a friend and she knows exactly what she wants to do in life. She wants to be a doctor and I kind of envy her because she knows what she wants and she found her dream career whereas I have no idea what I want to have a career in. However she keeps seeing things blocking her path. I suggest ideas and she keeps putting them down and to be honest she is not being realistic because okay I understand there are difficulties getting into medicine, but it all depends on how bad you want it and what kind of person you are. She is extremely smart and I know she can do well- she can get a First Class Honours Degree, she can draw, make things and is very smart but she is also very pessimistic and foolish in some ways. I am not that intelligent I am smart in other ways but I do try and put all my effort into things. Something inside so strong I know that I can make it. I wanted a First Class Degree but I got a 2:1 and that is still good! I am extremely happy and proud of myself even though I didn’t reach the First I tried and worked my hardest. I wanted a life social life and other experiences and sometimes things take sacrifice. My friend keep saying that it costs a lot of money and she doesn’t know if she can afford living out even if she goes to Scotland where university is free. She doesn’t know if she is entitled to this free education because she comes from the UK. But these things require research and right now she is just shooting them down and making excuses based on things she has no idea about. Education could very well be free for her too and she may never know or realise because she didn’t bother to look just because it might not be. I am tired of the excuses and call me an optimist, a fool or an unrealistic person living in la la land- I don’t care what you call me. I don’t care what you say because at least I have faith and I believe. Question is do you believe in you? I sure hope you do because it is very important. I have faith in people even those who are bad because you can turn your life around.

I want people to know that yes life is hard and sometimes thing don’t always go your way but you can achieve and do your best. All you can do is hope and if it doesn’t work out at least you tried. No regrets right? You tried so what’s to regret! Keep trying till you die. Don’t ever give up on life and I know it can be easy sometimes to just throw in the towel but its not worth it. There is so much out there you can achieve. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel- you just have to be strong and wait. There is sometimes even a helping hand. Trying is the key! 🙂 Everyone has a choice and it is never too late to start making those choices, paths, decisions. Believe in the strength and most importantly in you! I hope you achieve all the things you want!

So if you have failed at something or you got a bad mark or you were rejected in love, relationships/freidnships- then my advice to you is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again! Have faith in you and your abilities and even if you feel like you don’t have any talents think about yourself and what you’re good at. Nothing is impossible because even the word impossible has possible in it!

Love the ever hopeful optimist (I have been told I live in la la land= oh well at least I like the bright side of life)

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Learning to drive

So today I had my driving test (first time) and I failed! 😦 I was sad but I didn’t cry, I knew I failed! I won’t go into details because to be honest it is pretty depressing. No one likes to fail, but sometimes in life it happens. Not every can always be a winner, despite some people claiming never to lose (I don’t believe it- its all lies!) They say that good drivers pass second time round, but I have to admit it was a blow to my ego! Learning to drive is actually a very difficult task! I love driving, though people seem to forget that they once were a learner driver. They were in my shoes, and although it may have been easier years ago because you didn’t have to do independent driving and remember all these questions and just generally do more. But everyone whether it was years ago or recently was a learner once in there life! I learn to drive in London which is tricky because it is ALWAYS busy! Never is there a boring moment- whether it is a child/pedestrian running across the road, a crazy driver trying to squeeze through a tight space or take your right of way or even one who overtakes you when you stop at a zebra crossing. Driving is full of chaos, challenges and sometimes problems. But life too is full of twists and turns! Though some people I swear have death wishes!! They just cross expecting a car to stop. I am not blaming pedestrians only! Car drivers too must be weary, but it is not always their fault! Some drivers too have death wishes in which a collision may occur anytime with the amount of speeding I’ve seen as a pedestrian! They zoom past thinking they look cool. No you look like a crazy idiot!!! SLOW DOWN!

Anyway I kind of wish I could redo this day. If I could I would go back in time and correct my mistakes! I would do things differently and perhaps life would turn out differently. How much of a change would it have made to my future? Well for one thing I wouldn’t have to splash out of an extra £200 on lessons, hiring instructors car and redoing the test (£62) wow everything is expensive nowadays! But since when did driving become less of a skill? The government are increasing prices for people to take tests, to encourage them to take public transport, but driving is a skill. And frankly the public transport in London is pretty crap! I’m sorry but how many times have I heard “The train is cancelled due to a signal failure.” Or “I am sorry the train is cancelled/delayed due to a broken down train at ……station.” How does one broken down train affect all journeys???? I don’t care how- I want it fixed asap so I can travel and get to where I want! “We are sorry for the delay to your journey” yes clearly- that is the most annoying because you know its not true and the monotonous voice it is delivered in really makes you want to hit someone. Not only that its repetitiveness really grates on me because they really aren’t sorry and they’re not in my shoes, I have places to be. But really? Come on you can’t keep up these problems for the Olympics! If this was Japan, they would have apologised profusely if the train was delayed by 1 or 2 minutes!

Anyway I detoured! Back to the topic, learning to drive people don’t realise that it is difficult, so if you are one of those drivers who are in a rush and like to overtake a learner driver, that’s fine (as long as it is done safely) but don’t come right up my car’s bottom because my instructor sure won’t appreciate that and she’ll only make me go slower to piss you off! 😉 hehe I have a funny instructor! She does not take any crap! Pretty funny but people can be rude- I am learner yes give me time- I make mistakes I am not perfect. But everyone makes mistakes even non-learner drivers. I am learning and like little children I fall down. Don’t crush me so I can’t pick myself up- be considerate and patient. I know we all live busy lives, but one or two minutes won’t kill you. Most adults don’t bully children who are learning so don’t bully learner drivers! It is hard and I try to be optimistic, but I know that it won’t be a while till I take my driving test again as I am going exploring for some time and I won’t be back so soon. I just hope I don’t forget and lose the progress that I’ve made in the past couple of weeks. Maybe it was for the best- I’ll never know (Though no one thinks it is for the best!) Who knows what the future holds! (I sure hope I don’t have to take it more than 2 times!) It is very scary, nerve-wracking and tough! Everyone before was saying how ohh 40 minutes is not that long at all! It is fine and goes quickly. Well today I added an extra 10 minutes because I stupidly went the wrong way so I ended up doing 2 extra roundabouts and my exam lasted more than 1 hour!  I was wondering why on earth it felt soo long! I hope next time will go better! I just wish everything was not so expensive and I really wished I was one of the lucky people who passed first time! My examiner was very nice too, such a shame and a waste I made one bad decision! That’s all it takes one bad decision and it could cost you a life, a big F or destruction. (Don’t worry I did not kill/injure anyone!) I just failed!

Anyway just wanted to share my sad news. No not blaming anyone for my failure- that was all my fault. But I am asking people to please please be more considerate to learners, because it is tough! And you were in my shoes once!!!