A new layout = a new me

So its strange to not see my usual stars and dark background layout I used to have on my page. They represented the mystery and explorer feature of my personality I wanted to express in my blog, but I feel it’s time for a change and since there have been quite a few changes recently, I thought now was as good a time as ever. I am taking baby steps, but this new layout expresses me in a different way – that I am happy, warm and still desperately wishing to explore and see all the animals in the world, but also a little bit more confident. It’s been a long journey and I know that I have a lot more to go, but it’s only the beginning! I have time which will fly, but for now I have enough. It will be a start of a new year soon and I am hoping to be able to achieve some of my dreams I promised myself I would do. One of them involved living and working abroad so here’s hoping! I think that is why I like contracts because they don’t tie you down, they give you the flexibility to work and then see after a set period of time. This way I can earn enough money to save to travel and work!

I think I would also like to volunteer abroad and help with a good cause because I think it would be great to help out! Now I am going to stop because I started writing this last year and now we are in the new year and I am back from a lovely holiday. Things have changed very much and I feel my attitude has changed. Although I am still very much bored at work, I am trying to make the best of a boring situation. Sadly life is boring and it is what you make it. I made it boring and I can choose to stay in this boring continuous circle or I can change it. Now when it comes to a job, responsibilities and all that, it much easier than said because although it would be nice to find a new interesting job, a job is a job and I’m not complaining in such an unstable climate. I don’t have much to complain about since the location is amazing, the people are lovely and so kind its sad to think of leaving and I am mostly happy. The work however which I spend 8/9 hours a day doing is a killer and I hate staring at a screen for so long. Its bad for the eyes and I can feel it every time I stare at the screen for too long. I miss Sri Lanka and I want to go back, but I have faced reality because I can’t not yet anyway.

The other day I was with a friend in a fancy restaurant and I went to the toilet to wash my hands. When I looked up into the mirror I jumped back and gazed at the person staring back at me. She looked exhausted, older and a mess and it shocked me because I am 22! I should not be feeling so drained after only a week back at work. I decided it was time for a change appearance wise. My family mainly brother and mother would be cheering away and chorusing “About time!” Yes it is long overdue it seems and I’m not doing this for anyone but for me because I don’t want to be tired anymore. I am happy and have been for a few months but I want to be stronger and less hesitant and its good to recognize the weak in ourselves and want and try to develop on that. We are after all “in a constant state of flux” as one famous philosopher said and he is very right! Life as well as the world is always changing and I find it hard to keep up sometimes, ok all the time but I am trying a little bit! Not much I can’t guarantee a lot but I can guarantee baby steps!

No matter who puts you down, no matter what happens keep the light burning and be strong because everyone has an opinion and no one will ever be truly satisfied so don’t change for anyone but be true to yourself! Be the change you want to be!