Learning to drive

So today I had my driving test (first time) and I failed! 😦 I was sad but I didn’t cry, I knew I failed! I won’t go into details because to be honest it is pretty depressing. No one likes to fail, but sometimes in life it happens. Not every can always be a winner, despite some people claiming never to lose (I don’t believe it- its all lies!) They say that good drivers pass second time round, but I have to admit it was a blow to my ego! Learning to drive is actually a very difficult task! I love driving, though people seem to forget that they once were a learner driver. They were in my shoes, and although it may have been easier years ago because you didn’t have to do independent driving and remember all these questions and just generally do more. But everyone whether it was years ago or recently was a learner once in there life! I learn to drive in London which is tricky because it is ALWAYS busy! Never is there a boring moment- whether it is a child/pedestrian running across the road, a crazy driver trying to squeeze through a tight space or take your right of way or even one who overtakes you when you stop at a zebra crossing. Driving is full of chaos, challenges and sometimes problems. But life too is full of twists and turns! Though some people I swear have death wishes!! They just cross expecting a car to stop. I am not blaming pedestrians only! Car drivers too must be weary, but it is not always their fault! Some drivers too have death wishes in which a collision may occur anytime with the amount of speeding I’ve seen as a pedestrian! They zoom past thinking they look cool. No you look like a crazy idiot!!! SLOW DOWN!

Anyway I kind of wish I could redo this day. If I could I would go back in time and correct my mistakes! I would do things differently and perhaps life would turn out differently. How much of a change would it have made to my future? Well for one thing I wouldn’t have to splash out of an extra £200 on lessons, hiring instructors car and redoing the test (£62) wow everything is expensive nowadays! But since when did driving become less of a skill? The government are increasing prices for people to take tests, to encourage them to take public transport, but driving is a skill. And frankly the public transport in London is pretty crap! I’m sorry but how many times have I heard “The train is cancelled due to a signal failure.” Or “I am sorry the train is cancelled/delayed due to a broken down train at ……station.” How does one broken down train affect all journeys???? I don’t care how- I want it fixed asap so I can travel and get to where I want! “We are sorry for the delay to your journey” yes clearly- that is the most annoying because you know its not true and the monotonous voice it is delivered in really makes you want to hit someone. Not only that its repetitiveness really grates on me because they really aren’t sorry and they’re not in my shoes, I have places to be. But really? Come on you can’t keep up these problems for the Olympics! If this was Japan, they would have apologised profusely if the train was delayed by 1 or 2 minutes!

Anyway I detoured! Back to the topic, learning to drive people don’t realise that it is difficult, so if you are one of those drivers who are in a rush and like to overtake a learner driver, that’s fine (as long as it is done safely) but don’t come right up my car’s bottom because my instructor sure won’t appreciate that and she’ll only make me go slower to piss you off! 😉 hehe I have a funny instructor! She does not take any crap! Pretty funny but people can be rude- I am learner yes give me time- I make mistakes I am not perfect. But everyone makes mistakes even non-learner drivers. I am learning and like little children I fall down. Don’t crush me so I can’t pick myself up- be considerate and patient. I know we all live busy lives, but one or two minutes won’t kill you. Most adults don’t bully children who are learning so don’t bully learner drivers! It is hard and I try to be optimistic, but I know that it won’t be a while till I take my driving test again as I am going exploring for some time and I won’t be back so soon. I just hope I don’t forget and lose the progress that I’ve made in the past couple of weeks. Maybe it was for the best- I’ll never know (Though no one thinks it is for the best!) Who knows what the future holds! (I sure hope I don’t have to take it more than 2 times!) It is very scary, nerve-wracking and tough! Everyone before was saying how ohh 40 minutes is not that long at all! It is fine and goes quickly. Well today I added an extra 10 minutes because I stupidly went the wrong way so I ended up doing 2 extra roundabouts and my exam lasted more than 1 hour!  I was wondering why on earth it felt soo long! I hope next time will go better! I just wish everything was not so expensive and I really wished I was one of the lucky people who passed first time! My examiner was very nice too, such a shame and a waste I made one bad decision! That’s all it takes one bad decision and it could cost you a life, a big F or destruction. (Don’t worry I did not kill/injure anyone!) I just failed!

Anyway just wanted to share my sad news. No not blaming anyone for my failure- that was all my fault. But I am asking people to please please be more considerate to learners, because it is tough! And you were in my shoes once!!!

Indifference- Sit up and take notice of the world around you

So currently I am meant to be writing my End of Year Essay due in this Friday, but I read something that I had to comment on. I am writing my essay on the Holocaust and the theological implications and in one of my books I read this: “The world is indifferent to humans”. But this is wrong, the world is not indifferent to humans, it just exists- in fact it is the people who are indifferent to the world and to their fellow beings. This statement was made by Richard Rubenstein who rejected belief in God and his belief in Judaism because of the events of the Holocaust and the fact that he came to the conclusion that Hitler was the agent of God which he refused to believe. However, I disagree with this view completely because what about our responsibilities? Why does it have to be God who is blamed? What about the responsibility of the people who were involved? Those who committed the crimes? I am not absolving God from responsibility as it raises the long held argument of the problem of evil in which many theodicies have been created. I am not denying the question of where was God in all this? It is an important question! These aren’t simple questions and there are no real answers, but what there is out there is the knowledge that people did commit these crimes. People did stand and watch. People did do nothing.

What I want to emphasise is that we have to wake up and realise that we live in this wonderful world and although we are not always in control, we act, we make choices whether they are right or wrong I am not judging- we make them. No one is perfect but it is time to accept the truth and it is time to accept responsibility for the actions we commit.

Its very easy to say I didn’t do anything- well I have news that is still making a choice- the choice to do nothing, the choice to ignore the problem. If you see a man being beaten up by a gang, some people may walk away pretending they haven’t seen anything because they fear the gang, they fear for their lives. I completely understand this feeling- the feeling of fear, but it is at the end of the day still a choice someone makes- the choice to walk away. Some may say ‘Well what can you do?’ How can you speak like that unless you were in the situation?’ Well truth be told, I have been in that situation. Except I wasn’t the one walking away ignoring the problem- I was the victim. (Not in a gang fight let’s not be dramatic now!) But I was pestered by some youths on the train. People are too scared to shout at youths nowadays because they’re afraid of the law and they’re afraid of the consequences. On this busy train, people simply looked away uncomfortable not sure how to react, but you could tell most of them were apathetic. I looked to people for help- anyone-but no one wanted to help. I kept wondering why won’t people help? Like I said it’s very easy to look away and not take any notice. But sometimes people need help, they need someone to pull them out from a hole. It is not ok to stand around and watch others suffer. Not everyone is like this, there are few who help, but the majority stand around waiting for others. Stop waiting and start acting. Who are you waiting for? God? For the person to beg? For someone to tell you to do something?

It is also called indifference. Not many people have the strength or the courage to face up to the evils and injustice in the world. And I’ll admit it is a big thing, but it’s time for a change. Why should we live our lives in fear? Pascal said that we want to be seen as brave and courageous, we want people to think we possess these characteristics. But in reality we do not have them, we would rather people think we have them. It is very true- Pascal was a very wise man!

It is wrong to be apathetic and for people to be indifferent to the world they live in.  Stop trying to blame someone else, whether it is God or the person next to you who didn’t help the person in trouble. We are responsible for our actions.  We can intervene and help others even if other people choose not to and even if God didn’t intervene. So stop relying on others and be the change that you want to be.

Rant over for now! Back to writing my essay! Must not waste anymore time procrastinating!

When I fall in love…music is just not the same anymore!

This post is dedicated to the song of my life right now “When I fall in love” by Nat King Cole. If you haven’t heard it, you are missing out on one of the most beautiful and inspiring songs in the world! I have never been in love, but that is not the point- it is about choosing to fall in love with that one special person. (Yes I am and always have been a romantic at heart!) But his lyrics ring true even in our modern age, as he sings “In a restless world like this is, love is ended before its begun…” or perhaps that is lust which ends and not love. The music and instrumental background is gorgeous and his voice is pure brilliance! It makes a real change from the music these days which is saturated with crappy pop songs- which yes I do listen to, but hey there’s no escaping it! We should bring the classics back though and show society what real music sounds like! Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong, Alison Moyet, Elvis Presley! Gosh the list goes on!

Sometimes in this busy life we neglect the small and hidden beauties that are buried in the background among a sea of worries, pressure, stress and everyday life. Once in a while we should take a break and relax and when you’re in the mood listen to some beautiful music which really does de-stress you and calms you down. Well its calms me down at least! Its hard to imagine that beautiful music like this no longer really exists and no one really creates anything beautiful. What I mean is real music that tugs at your heartstrings, that evokes feelings of inspiration and awe within you. Music that moves you so much that you feel a change within you. Perhaps there is music like this in classical music, but I am talking specifically about the genre  of mainstream music.

Other songs I recommend:

‘L-O-V-E’ -Nat King Cole

‘Smile’- Nat King Cole

Simon and Garfunkel- Sound of Silence- live (If you search in youtube live 2009) Their voices are amazing live and they are singing in their 70s! Isn’t that incredible that their voices remain so beautiful?

‘The Boxer’ and ‘Bridge under troubled water’ are also great songs by Simon and Garfunkel.

‘I’d really love to see you tonight’- England Dan and John Ford Coley

‘I can’t help falling in love’- Elvis Presley

‘Close to you’- The Carpenters

‘On top of the world’- The Carpenters

‘We’ve only just begun’- The Carpenters

‘Please Mr Postman’- The Carpenters

‘Amazed’- Lonestar (A recent song but it always uplifts my spirits!)

I also like Lady Antebellum- there music is very soothing. Songs of theirs I recommend is ‘Dancing Away With My Heart’, ‘Need you right now’

Faith Hill- ‘There You’ll Be’

Classical/Pianist songs I love:

Ludovico Einaudi- Fairytale, Love is a mystery, Le Onde, I giorni, Nuvole Bianche- These are my favourite pieces and I can only play I giorni on the piano but I would love to learn the rest! One day I will! oh I forgot to mention these are songs with no singing- just the piano!

Anyway I hope you enjoy my suggestions- they are a few favourite songs of mine! If anyone has any song suggestions please feel free to add them! 🙂

Take Care!